57.       Sentinels of society

In a way we are all sentinels of society

We view all we can and choose what we respond to

Every part of every area is riddled with variety

We can watch the world go round all day if we want to

But we don’t, we have many over things we’d like to see

We’re busy people we’ve always got something to get up to

We gave our power to police and let them line the streets

Sentinel or not, if they want to, they’ll cuff you

56.       The hidden truth of the warmth you feel

Inside all of us are incontinent dolphins

They share the same emotional triggers as us.

When they’re happy, they pee.

We are warmed by their pee.

If there comes a time when you’re happy and don’t feel warm inside

Say a little prayer for you’re dolphins

Incontinent or not

They deserve your consideration.

It wouldn’t kill you to eat dolphin friendly

55.       Swimming with incontinent dolphins

I used to love that noise they make

That joyful cheery sound

But then I learnt that noise they make

Means they’ve released their bowels

So I guess that noise they make

Means they’re happy when they pee

Now when I hear that noise they make

I know the sea’s temperature increase

54.       The common man

People always got confused with why they called him the common man

He wasn’t essentially common.

But he hung around at the common

Listened to common

 And started fights with his funny accent

You could often hear him shout ‘COMM ON!’

A proper lost one.

He just roamed on his own like he had nowhere to go

He’d beat people to a pulp for calling him common.

Defined what you’d call a wrong un

Nasty piece of work a strong un

Your best bet is to avoid the common

53.       My dingo ate a baby

People got really arsey about it

I already told them

‘I’ve got a dingo that likes to eat babies’.

You’d think they’d avoid binging their kids round

Idiots.

And now I’m the bad guy?

Please.

Everyone else understood the warning

It’s just as relivant as

‘Help your kid’s with their homework’

‘Let them know you’re there and you care’

‘Treat your kids like humans’

‘Don’t take your baby where the baby eating dingo lives’

Some parents are fucking idiots.

52.       50 shades of shit

I’d never seen a toilet in a state like that.

I couldn’t tell if the different shades reflected the previous users diets

Or if like the rings in a tree they told the tale of age.

But I saw 50 shads of shit there

51.       My tortoise ate a unicorn

If I’d known he was that hungry I would have gave him a more substantial lunch

I was fond of that unicorn

He was good to me.

I love my tortoise all the same of course

And I don’t know how he devoured that unicorn.

Guess I'll never know why he found it so attractive.

Please say a prayer for my unicorn

I miss him lots .

If you’ve never seen a tortoise poo a horn

I can always show you the vid I got