71.       And that’s when I touched her bum

She said objectifying women is wrong

I agreed.

She said women are still victimized in society

I agreed.

She said women are equal to men

I agreed.

Then she said treat me like an object and victimize me...

I agreed to.

After that night we didn’t cross paths for a while

I bumped into her and a group of ladies at a feminist convention going wild

And that’s when I touched her bum.

She reminded me women are equal to men

As she knocked me the fuck out.

And for the sake of equality, when I came back around

I stood up

And knocked her the fuck out

70.       Spectacular sophie

She was pretty good

Some say spectacular was a bold statement

But I’d say she could live up to it on a good day.

I once watched her use her fingernails to rip a guys lip off

He thought she was flirting

Deluded lipless twat.

He shouldn’t have called her less than spectacular

69.       Decidedly undecided

I’m positive I don’t have opinion

We can do whatever you like

The only one condition

Is you’re the one to decide

68.       The anonymous iguana

He lured me over to the open window where he hid in the shadows

‘whats your name?’ I asked

‘call me iggy’ he replied

I saw no reason why he'd need to hide his identity

‘so iggy, why are you here?’ I asked

He was silent for a few seconds then replied

‘if I told you I’d have to kill you’

Feeling pretty confident that no shady iguana could take me on I said

‘give it a try you lizard fuck’.

Next thing I know I awoke on the floor in a daze

There was a cluster of dead flies next to me

As I looked closer I realised

Iggy had used the fly corpses to write me a message.

It read

‘that was a warning. I’ll be back for these flies’

I now live in fear every day

67.       I wish I hadnt eaten that bee

It seemed like a good idea at the time

Turned out to be a pretty bad move

I really cant remember why

When it stung me I was in a horrible mood

I wanted it to pay the price

And though ‘whats the cruellest thing I can do?

I know, I’ll eat the little bastard alive’

However it turns out I’m a fool

As when I ate him he survived

Just should have killed the little dude

Now he’s turned my chest into a hive

I can hear buzzing from morning to noon

66.       Paedophile

Paedophile was his name.

At first I thought his parents were just being cruel

Every time a adult asked his name

They quickly got flustered and away they moved.

You’d think he’d consider getting it  changed

As he got older and left school

When your first impression is ‘hi, paedophile is my name’

There’s only so many jobs you can do

65.       Sex in the snow

I have never seen her nipples so big and my dick so small

That’s the result of sex in the snow

Parts were hard as they should be

But mainly because they’d been froze.

We made an odd shaped snow angel

Then quickly got back in our clothes

I walked past our shapes the next day

There’s a snowman winking. With a condom on his nose